‘Porn Is For Losers’ Says This Playboy Bunny

A rabbi and a Playboy model walk into a bar … then they start talking about porn.

That’s more or less going to be the set up of Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and Pamela Anderson’s new podcast called, “Porn is for Losers.”

Six and a half months ago the celebrity rabbi and “Baywatch” actress teamed up to write an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal decrying the pitfalls of pornography. In the article, the unlikely duo give their spiel from a puritanical platform, castigating the porn industry as inherently poisonous and a threat to relationships as well as to society as a whole.

In the article they call for an “honest dialogue on the dangers of pornography” which they describe as having “corrosive effects” on a “man’s soul.”

Anderson and Boteach’s message picked up from where former New York City Congressman Anthony Weiner’s leaked sexting scandal left off … well not quite literally. But the two reference Weiner’s indiscretions as an example of the horrors that will befall, envelop and eventually destroy a man, his soul, and his family should one surrender to the seduction of the multi-billion dollar industry. Much like the nefarious xenomorph that come to attack earth’s inhabitants in “Alien.”

Though to be fair, the Weiner (ahem) scandal was about sexting, not porn.

At one point they spell out just how grave things are, “This is a pubic hazard of unprecedented seriousness given how freely available, anonymously accessible and easily disseminated pornography is nowadays.”

Much like the available lascivious results on the Internet that Boteach and Anderson so lament and fear, rich are the comic possibilities when considering the content of the article and its authors: Anderson, who just celebrated her quarter of a century anniversary with “Playboy Magazine,” with a nude shoot bearing all in a full frontal spread and Boteach who has made a career out of speaking candidly and somewhat controversially about sex.

Now, the pair is uniting in the fight against the public distribution (partially) of full frontal nudity in the media (if you need an example you can refer to Anderson’s latest shoot or any of her previous 15 naked spreads in “Playboy”).

In the article, at one point the tone drifts taking on more of a crazed tirade in which the co-authors can’t help but spout out a series of scary, melodramatic questions: “How many families will suffer? How many marriages will implode? How many talented men will scrap their most important relationships and careers for a brief onanistic thrill? How many children will propel, warp-speed, into the dark side of adult sexuality by forced exposure to their father’s profanations?” There’s almost something rabbinical in the waterfall of open-ended, philosophical questions.

As a follow up to the op-ed Boteach and Anderson have launched the podcast, which premiered on February 13 (just in time for Valentine’s Day perhaps). Boteach announced the release of the first episode on his Twitter page.

In the pilot episode, Boteach kicks it off by referencing the political landscape of the most recent election then fires off about “Bill Clinton’s treatment of women” (we’re guessing he’s alluding to the former president’s affair with Monica Lewinsky from 22 years ago?), which as far as we know wasn’t porn related, and the “cultural degradation of women that has finally manifested itself at the highest echelons of society.”

The rabbi and counselor speaks of the simultaneous “obviousness” and “elusiveness” of women being equal to men. He also explains that women are “beings with aspirations” and “desires.” He then offers the idea that women are treated as a means to an end and concludes “there’s something immoral in that” before positing that maybe that is not the recipe for a successful relationship.

Then they get back on the subject of porn: Andersons says that “Internet porn is infecting relationships” and then discusses what can be assumed are rare cases on the extreme end of the scale, wherein some people become so addicted to porn that in order to be aroused by a real, live human person they require medication.

Boteach also carps over how pornography creates unrealistic stereotypes for men, who have to be “studly” and how that’s unfair, (though continuous evidence has shown that plenty of men do not suffer from those pressures).

Fittingly, Rabbi Boteach elects to end on a biblical note … sort of.

He begins by referencing how Esther saved the Jewish people by seducing and marrying the king who was planning to wipe them out, but then he digresses into a theory that the Jewish heroine had the weather to thank because it was so cold and apparently … that leads to better sex. In fact, Boteach and Anderson agree that “the Canadians are a much more sensual people,” (especially over those found in Southern California).

As the old stereotype goes, bulky sweaters, sinus headaches, and frozen extremities are the instant aphrodisiac, especially over tanned bodies in bikinis playing volleyball. Or in this case, running in slow motion down the beach.

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